Aimees Diary

Time goes so quick and it's been so long since I last wrote a blog post that I am lost on what to write... Life feels repetitive and almost like I am in a loop. Each day feels the same and it is getting harder each time. When I reflect on the past year, I have absolutely no clue how I have got through it. It's been a challenge, especially for my mental health. Also, university work has taken up so much of my life so I haven't had as much time as I would like to sit down and just ramble on my blog. It's all been very tough but I know I am not the only one.  I wanted to write this post to talk about something that has really hit me hard and what I have been struggling to come to terms with and process. On the 8th of March 2021, my beautiful great-nanny pix passed away after years of suffering from Alzheimers. My heart is broken and I am still trying to heal but it's been so difficult I can't even begin to explain. She was a fighter and I will always admire her for

I want to wish everyone who reads this the happiest Christmas.  2020 has been a year like no other and as it comes to an end, I want to reflect.  This year has been filled with many ups and downs, goodbyes and tests of my strength. I have lost people, met new people and also felt alone. But while it has been a  very difficult year, not just for me, but for so many, I can honestly say it has opened my eyes to many things and it has taught me a lot. The most important being that nothing is ever certain and we should appreciate what we already have and who is around us. From the moment lockdown was announced and I had to stay inside for weeks, I struggled to find any happiness in my life. Every day I would wake up and struggle to even get out of bed as I felt I had nothing to look forward to, so the internal bully in my mind became louder and stronger. I felt I had hit rock bottom as during those months I was the lowest I had been in a while. Whilst my mental health was suffering, I unfor

*tw: suicide* //  This month is National Suicide Prevention Month. A whole month that is dedicated to raising awareness on suicide and to reduce the stigma around a public health issue that is so important. I have spoken a lot about my own experience with my mental health problems so this month is very close to my heart.  In July, I got my first tattoo which was a semi colon. It is a tattoo I have wanted for so long as the meaning behind it is so important to me and I wanted it as a reminder to keep going even on my darkest days.  "A semi colon is used when an author could've chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to" For years I have struggled with suicidal ideation and I have been in really dark places. It's like a huge weight that is holding me down and I struggle to get out from underneath it. Sometimes I can ignore them but other times they will overwhelm me. Most of the time the thoughts will creep up on me and catch me off guard. If I'm crossing the ro